Hey Bitches!

I just emailed a property owner about a cute apartment over by Rockwood Park.  This is your notice to cross your fingers for me.

Hey, Bitches!

I'm so happy!  Xmas is over!  Exclamation points!  Everywhere!  Yay!!!

I got some awesome shit, too.

I got an origami kit which you know I wanted for years.  I got a new cell phone, a cordless phone, digital batteries, apon bulbs, winter wipers, a big walmart gift card, a BULK BARN gift card, a $100 pay-as-you-go card, a cat organizer book, TWO things of slim jims, and a bag of like, stuff, like stuff that I use, shampoo and cleansers and shit.  I got all awesome shit!!!  Ha ha ha, and now Xmas is gone for another year!

Here's a photo of Sophi.  She doesn't hold still very well.

Hey Bitches.

The only thing I asked for was Xmas Eve off.

I didn't get it.

I posted a notice to switch my Xmas Eve shift for someone else's Xmas day shift and when I came in this morning my notice was gone.

So I was talking to my supe and saying Xmas Eve was the only day I wanted off, and poor me I could work Saturday or Xmas day for someone else and was it management that took my notice off the board or was someone inquiring?

Some guy was standing there at the right time and he said he'd take my Xmas Eve if I took his Xmas Day.

Huzzah Bitches! You shall all be subjected to my new blue cheese recipe! Whether you like it or not!

Hey Bitches!

Right now, I'm eating French toast that I fried in margarine that I'd previously used to fry bologna.  Not only it is like, holyfuckingshitballs awesome tasting?  It also turned out absofuckinglutely perfectly.  

The key to perfect French toast is this: turn the burner on high and let the pan heat up while you prep the eggs.  Whether you used one or two eggs(I like two eggs for two pieces of bread) don't add milk or water.  You may be tempted to but let the eggs do the work. 

When the pan is really, really hot, put the French toast in the pan and immediately turn the heat to low-medium.  Do NOT push down on the bread or flatten it, just patiently let it cook and keep an eye on it to ensure it's not burning.  Flip it when it's ready, let that side cook, and there you go.

Anyway Bitches, I'm going to Saint's Rest Beach tomorrow to check out the hiking trail.  If any Bitches wanna come, I'm gettin off from my fucking hellhole job at 1pm and I'll have my cell.

I know none of you will read this between now and then anyway, but the invitation is there.  Bitches.

Hey Bitches.

That trip to Seaside Park was fucking bitchin'!  I've never been there before and I didn't even know it existed.   Obviously I knew there was water there but I never, ever thought it would be so fucking rad!

You're all invited to check out my flickr page, Bitches.  You better fucking look at it, you know I need the attention.

Hey Bitches?

How come we don't go on a super-fantastic photographic expedition within Saint John? How come?

Go to Flickr.com. Check out the Saint John pool. You won't be sorry. Bitches are getting amazing shots right here in the city.

Those fucking bitches should be us.

Hey Bitches.

Guess what? I'm thinking of trying blue cheese again. For reals. I think I might like it.

If I ever get some extra money(ha ha ha!), I'm gonna find myself a really high rated recipe that calls for blue cheese and it's gonna be fucking awesome.

Hey Bitches!

Today is part three of four in the Voltron: How Could This Happen!!?? drama.  As much as I'm struggling with what's going on, I know I can stay strong.  It's almost over.

I dropped Voltron off at the dealership today.  She's having her brake pads and roters replaced.  I took the shuttle home and now I have to somehow get to work or get back to pick Voltron up, if she's done by 12:30.

This photo of Voltron at the nature park helps me remember all our good times together.

Hey Bitches.

Two pork tongues at Superstore for $1.78!

I'm going for it.

Hey, Bitches.

Oh, listen.  You will not EVER believe the K-y commercial I just saw.

Okay, it's called "Yours + Mine".

Okay?  With me so far?  Bitches, there is like a tube for the man and a tube for the woman, okay?

So the woman uses hers, and the man uses his, and then when they mix together(oh, shit that's funny) "something" happens.

I don't remember what it said exactly, but from what I remember of the graphics, it might be fizzy.

Like there's baking soda in one tube and vinegar in the other.

I can't even stand how funny that is.  Have a good one, Bitches.

Found it!

Hey Bitches!

You know when you're working at one of those worthless fucking call centre jobs, and you just can't talk to the customer anymore?  And then you jokingly ask your co-worker to pretend they're  you and finish the job?

Sometimes that shit works, man!

So here's to Pete, my guy at work, for calling that motherfucker back for me.  

Thanks, Pete!

Hey Bitches!

Another rad day off for me.  

Voltron got washed, waxed, and armour-alled yesterday.   If you know me at all, you know I've been wanting to get her washed and shit for a while now.  It's harder when you only have one day off at a time, because you don't have one day for mellowing out, and one day for getting shit done.

Next things I need to do are: clean the inside of the windows, vacuum, and shine the tires.

Back to my awesome day off.  I went to the Dollarama and got a little bin for recycling and a little box for keeping my beads in.  I know, it IS very, very awesome.  Don't let your burning envy eat you up inside you Bitches.

You know what else? I also got a little package of sour cherry blasters, and the anticipation of eating them is the super-awesomest thing of all.

update:  You have to click here!  Click here!

Hey, Bitches, it sure does pay to recycle.

I was getting my recycling together and some of it was from last year, and I found a $25 Coles gift card!  I'm buying myself a present!!

So I got all my recycling done finally, got my exterior trim armour-alled finally, took a trip to the Irving Nature Park with my best friend, and had pizza for breakfast.  Awesome right?

Also, I'm about to find out how much I got paid today, then I can finalize my budget.

Right now I'm watching Tropic Thunder and I don't know why, but Tom Cruise is making me laugh.  Actually I do know why, Bitches.  This movie isn't half bad.

What a rad day off.

Hey Bitches!  

Do you love peeled tomatoes?  I do.

Hey Bitches!

Remember the plants that would grow on the lawn or hayfields?  The papery little bulbs that would split open and dust would come out?  Remember how it was so magical when you were little?

Think about it.  Aren't they the awesomest plants ever?  I love those.

I don't think of those things very often, and I really should try to because the act of remembering them makes me happy.

Listen, Bitches(notice how I always capitalize Bitches, it's because I hold you Bitches in such high regard), isn't the word "I" funny?  It's fucking capitalized and it's one little letter!  That bitch.

Don't you think?  That if the letters were like people?  Like characters?  Like Smurfs!!!

The "i" would be Snotty Fucking Bitch Smurf?!!!

I was just reading about Smurfs the other day at work!

Hey Bitches.

I did it again. ------>

Hey Bitches!

So I tried changing my Rogers Wireless user name to, "Suckit Bitches".  First name: Suckit.  Last name: Bitches.  They wouldn't let me, can you believe that?  Bummer.

Anyway, I have three days off this weekend!  Lucky me, Bitches!

Hey Bitches!

Our trainer left us buddy-jacking ALL evening!  That dipshit.

I told him I wasn't learning anything and that it wasn't on me when the shit hits the fan.

Later that night he locked the training room door with my shit inside, but that's okay, what he doesn't know is that he's a shit-stain and I'm not, so HA HA.

Fucking shit-licking ball sack.

Hey Bitches.

I went to Maces Bay via Chance Harbour on Canada Day.  I don't know about you guys but I've never been there before and it's one of the most beautiful places in New Brunswick, just amazing.  

Too bad you missed it.  What's also too bad is that my camera batteries were dead and my back-up batteries were also dead.  I'm going back though.

Anyway, I went for my interview today.  Some guy and I had the interview together.  The woman interviewing us kept talking about the job and shit and then she was talking about the pay and then she was talking about bringing lunch and a blank cheque.  I'm sitting there thinking, "Did I just get hired?  Did I miss that part?"  The other guy said, "So...by showing up on Tuesday it means we're hired?"

Basically, Bitches, it was more of an orientation than an interview.  

Should I be worried?  I mean, even RMH(R. M. H.) pretended to give a shit about my resume and references.

So in this post I present to you bitches one of the four photos I was able to take on Canada Day.

Hey Bitches?  I don't know how anyone can drink this shit.  I especially don't know how Cerulean Fury in particular can drink this, because as you know she's the first bitch to speak up if something tastes chemically or fake in any way.

This shit is how lemon Windex must taste, I'm telling you.

I still drank it though, I was pretty thirsty.